I've answered here and there: "I've kidnapped a dog today!" or "I've porked the crown princess today!" all she said was: "Thank you quark, nice to know!"
She never listen, so today she got out of bed yelling: "I'm late for work, where's the car keys?"
me: "in the kitchen!"
her: " where? . . . ohh there . . . I take the car today!"
I'm cool with that, but 1 minute after she call me from her cell:
Her: "Where's the fucking car?"
me: "It's there!"
Her: "There's no gold MB on the street, where's it at?"
me: "My MB is there, give a minute and I come down and find it for you!"
Her: "You got 30 sec. to tell me where it is!"
So I had to get dressed and go down there, and said:
Me: "That key you got in your hand is new!"
Her: "WHAT?, where's is "goldy" at?"
me: "Sold her!"
Her: "You loved that car, who got it now? is it Ami? wha . .wwhe . .but!"
Me: "press the key, and see the new one!"
and she did:
Her: "ohh no, that is a huge one, there's place for all!"
me: "Yup, for all and then some!"
her: "Why did you buy a familly car? Is there some you wonna ask me?"
me: "nope!"
What is she on about, just becourse I bought a MB Station Car?
So one evening he called me and asked:
Him: "Mom say I can't see 'War of the Worlds', why is that?"
Me: "If she say so, then it's so!"
Him: "But I already seen 'Saw', 'Saw2' AND 'Talking Lives', so why not that one?"
Me: "You have? I better talk with your Mother!"
Him: "Why? C'mon Dad, it's only a UFO movie!"
Me: "Becourse 'War of the Worlds' sucks!"
Him: "Then it's ok, bye!"
He hung up on me, but had a talk with his mom about it, he's only 7½, or as he sees it nearly 8!
3 days later he call me again:
Him: "Those UFO's, are they real?"
Me: "I don't know!"
Him: "BUT where do they come from?"
Me: "I don't know!"
Him: "But Daaaa-ad, you most know!"
Me: "Ok, you wonna know where they come form and all that?"
Him: "yes yes yes!"
Me: "I'm not sure sweety, they could come from outer space, . . or maybe it's our great great great grand children who have traveled back in space to visit us!"
Him: "You can't believe that, can you?"
How do you answer a question like that?
"she, who must be obeyed" and I went shopping yesterday, mostly groceries, and we had to drive 30 minutes 'cos they had something on offer that I never heard of or never eat myself!
First of all, I hate shopping malls, all loaded with fat woman in greasy thights, man that's nasty!
We arrive safely to the parking lot and headed for the entrance, then I spot my dream car (ofcource I'v forgotten my camera, I normally have a small one on me at al times) a Hudson Hornet in mint condition. So I start pacing around the buty, then she starts:
Her: "Hey Quarck, we are shopping here!"
Me: "Ok honey!"
Her: "C'mon asshole, or shall I do everything here?!
Me: "That's fine, honey!"
I didn't notice she was gone, untill 30 minutes or an hour later when she yelled form the entrance of the mall: "Come and help me dammit!", so I did, think she spend $300-400 on groceries, so while we was stuffing the old Mercedez, I was yapping about the Hudson. They find out there was another offer in another mall on clothes, so on the way there I was still yapping about the car, and she was starting to steam up so the sparks and small litghnings was travilling up and down her body. Next mall was some lingery and I HAD to go in with her, and she tryed one set after the other, and all I had in mind was that car!
Her: "Do you like this set?"
Me: "Nice!" (thinking: I want a car like that)
Her: "How about this set then?"
Me: "Very nice, Honey!" (thinking: how much does a car like that cost?)
After and hour or so like that she gave up and we drove back home, me still yapping about is: "Did you see that backseat, it was a ball room in there!". Safely home and getting the groceries in the right places with me still yapping, she said: "I'm gonna visit my mom for a few days!"
Man, it was a fine automobile!
I , well we, attended a BBQ last night. You just gonna love those avents:
First: you dress up like youre seing the queen, for sitting outdoors in a smokey invironment and eat most of it with your hands, I just love it!
Sec.: There is always a cheap nasty wine (Chatoue de Landfill) and warm beers, runny potato salad, lots of greens, and loads of cremated meat, but worst of all, there is always one who show up with a dressing, for the green salad, that taste like camel piss: "well, it was some I saw on TV, hope you all like it!" , I just love it!
I just love to meet up with my friends, slap each other on the back and tell lies, while we all drink warm beer, and talk about the camel piss dressing!
You just gonna love those avents!
Man, what a day!
Had some great chats with Marty and MamwDenise this morning, then around noon (my time) I had to go, someone said he could fix up my car for next to nothing!
Then the shit sarted: I tryed to get sox on, and it was almost there, then I pulled the shaft off of one of them!
Went down on the street to meet the guy, when I realize I've forgot the keys to the car, and that's all forgot the bloody keys to my appartment, all I have on me is smokes, lighter and my cell. I called my GF, but they are not allowed to use cells in Copenhagen Airport, so I call my dad, he got a spare set of keys, and he say:
Dad: "What's up son?"
Me:"I've locked my self out, casn I get the spare set?"
Dad:"Sure, I got them"
Me:"ok, dad, I come around then!" He lives 70 meters from me!
Dad:"Do that, I'm in Italy right now, and will be home in 10 days or so!"
Me:"FUCK, what do I do then?"
Dad:"Call Madsen, he got keys to my place, just like you have!"
Yeah right, I'm locked out and all my keys are in there, so I call Madsen and tell the story, all he said was : "I'm at work, and will be home at 11pm!" , but he came around anyway, and we got in at my dad's place and see the plate where all the keys use to hang is emty! So I call my dad again and say I can't find the keys, then I sart all over:
Dad:"ohh, forgot to say that, they are in my stronbox!"
Me:"what's the code?"
Dad:"You never get that code, asshole, you and your brother both!"
Me:"OK dad, thank you, love you!"
Dad:"yea yeay, bye!"
So Red and I had to find a ladder so I can crawl in thruogh a window, I live on 3rd floor and the window is only 2 by 2 feet, anyway I crawl in and drop down on my old guitar amplifiers, hurt my back and smach up the amp, then my cell start to buzz, and it's my GF who call me just got of work, she start screaming:
Mette:"WHAT THE FUCK QUARCK, you know I can't use my cell at work!"
I lay on the floor and can only reply "OK, honey!"
Mette:" Did you want something?"
Me:"No, honey, fixed it now!"
Just one of those days, right?
I'm a (or was) proud owner of an old MB 280CE from 1976, it's a nice car, but my GF have dented and crasched so many times it's worth nothing now, and been like that a while!
One morning, getting my ration of 80 smokes and some bread, I saw a magazine with cars, looked through it several times and found some great cars there:
"MB300TE, leather, auto, clima and cd/radio with trailer hook. Price XXXXXXX"
"Volvo 760 Coupe, leather, 18" rims, clima (a/c to US ppl) and cd/radio with trailer hook, price XXXXXX"
and so on and so on!
I went out to look of a few(well 15 actually) cars, my GF was with me, and she got more and more pissed, her face started to wringle and she shouted out:" How much time can it take to buy a car?"
I've been shopping with her many times, and she ask me that?
All I wanted was a cd/radio with trailer hook!
As some of you know, I gave up golf last week, that game really SUCK, I was more out in the woods than a squirral!
It all came to that I wanted to trade the golf set into a R/C Boat, so I could sit in the park scarring the living daylight out of the ducks with it, but no way, my GF's face started to wringle again, and she told me that I was a wanker if I did that! (She try to change me, so I can play golf with HER frinds)
No more golf, but "a man need a hobby", geez, I've heard that a 1000 times the last couple of day. So yesterday I started horse back ridding, 'coz I thought: "thank could be fun, and get some excersice at the same time!" So, I got out there, got the horse (think the URL is www.rentamule.com), got the instuctions even thou I've tryed it before, some 10 years ago or so!
After instructions, I mounted the horse, and it started jumping around so I smacked my ball down in the saddle 4-5 times, after that it meant it needed to run like the wind over the fields and through the forrest!
So today I got 2 ball and an ass that are blue, my legs and back hurts like hell! And before some here ask, yes, I did fall of, twice!
Gravity sucks, but the weather was nice!
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I've been shopping around for a year now for a house, all I've learned is that the pricess race up like hell by the week!
If it was a used car, the value would fall, well, all houses, they are used too, and some one have propably died in it too, so scould I buy an old house from '72, that costed 10.000 to build for 75.000?
If you wonna see porn check the links in the left! Here I'll shout out as an "angry man" as some told me, so come back soon to hear me say shit and then some!
